This article was originally posted in 2011 on www.askthelactationconsultant.com. I had just made it through a rough time with my second nursling and was asked to share our story. I'd like to share it again here, reverse cycling is rough, but if you're experiencing it, you're not alone! _______________________________________________________________ Coming home from the hospital last November with a newborn who slept 4, then 6 hours at night was a dream. I had a toddler, so the fact that Jaron seemed like such a good sleeper was great! Then at around 4 months, when some babies first begin 6 hour stretches, Jaron dropped down to 4 hour stretches. By 6 months, when some parents are blessed with an occasional 8 hour stretch, Jaron woke every 2. By 9 months old, he was waking every 45 minutes. What happened?!?!? I was confused. It took nearly 7 months to regulate my severe oversupply and get my foremilk/hindmilk imbalance under control (but that's another story). If anything he should have been sleeping better, longer! Then he started to lose interest in nursing. I couldn't believe it. I'd worked so hard for so long and he was starting to (self-wean) at 7 months old. At least that's how it seemed. He?d nurse for maybe 5 minutes before he?d be wiggling to get down and play. He'd refuse to nurse down for a nap, he just wanted to keep going and going until he was overtired. He fought nursing because he didn't want to get sleepy. From an outside view he looked like he was just done with Mama's milk. Except at night; he'd wake up and nothing could calm him but nursing. For awhile I resigned myself to early weaning, I still nursed Jaron as much as he would allow. I offered far more than he asked for milk. I tried to make up the calories with solids and offering breastmilk in cup, but he rarely slowed down for that either. Then he stopped eating solids completely and only took 5 minute here and there nursing sessions for a couple weeks. Then he began eating solids again, but he stopped nursing in public. Since he was still having enough wet diapers, I only gave him other liquids when he asked for what I was having - in hope that he'd want to nurse. It didn't work. Around 9 months, not only did he start waking every 45 minutes all night long, I found out that his weight gain had dramatically slowed. Our pediatrician was fantastic and reminded me that Jaron got the most useful calories from breastmilk and to cut back on solids and try to nurse even more frequently. Exhausting, especially with all of the night waking. But I tried. I set my phone alarm for a feeding every 2 hours, so I wouldn't forget. I allowed my 2 year old unheard of amounts of Disney movies, just so he'd sit still and not be another distraction while I tried to get Jaron to focus on eating in the bedroom. I tried every nursing position I could think of, laying, sitting, standing. I even allowed nursing gymnastics, much to my pain. I tried to night wean. Under most circumstances I would have never considered it. But I was beyond tired and frustrated. I hoped that after a couple nights, he'd get the idea and start eating more during the day. All it did was wake everyone in the house and make the whole family miserable. Not worth it. Then we went on a 14 hour road trip to visit my extended family. Jaron refused to nurse the entire 14 hours. Even sitting out in the car while his brother and my parents were in the restaurants, he found the armrest much more interesting than filling his tummy. I panicked. I thought he was done. I thought hat taking that trip had caused him to completely self wean. I told my mom that maybe Jaron would make it up all night long, I felt like I was just trying to convince myself, but he did. He did nurse his normal short sessions while we were visiting for the 10 days and ate almost all night long every night. Then he refused to nurse the entire 14 hour car trip home. When we got home, it clicked. Why did he have to eat during the daytime? Reverse cycling (fancy term for having nights & days mixed up feeding wise) had worked and our trip been so much more pleasant because I wasn't trying to force anything. It's what was natural for him. Why not just keep it up? He wasn't self-weaning! He just didn't want to eat when there were other things to be done! He still needed and wanted his Mama's milk, he just didn't want it at what other people thought were "normal" times! We had been occasional co-sleepers based on if I was too tired to put him back in his bed or not. But at 10 months old Jaron moved full time into the big bed. Now he nurses at night as many times as he needs to. Anything from 1-5 nursings throughout the night is normal. I'm getting a lot more rest, even if I am awake during a nursing and my husband is definitely not missing the middle of the night scream-fests. I still offer to let Jaron nurse every 2 or 3 hours during the day and occasionally he'll actually ask to nurse. I am so thankful that I didn't just accept his self-weaning 4 months ago. Our nursing relationship is very different from what many would call normal, but nursing in reverse works for us. Two months ago I couldn't imagine how we'd ever make it to Jaron's 1st birthday, now I just hope he decides to wean sometime before he leaves for college! ___________________________________________________________________________________ As always, feel free to share your own experiences! Often women with large breasts don't find a lot of help from hospital lactation consultants(some do, but I have heard so many stories from women, that I think it's more of the exception than the rule). The default nursing positions taught are often very uncomfortable and nursing pillows may support the breast, but then there's no room for the baby! Laid back nursing is making huge strides and is phenomenal when you have the time and the inclination to sit and relax. But when you want to be more upright and tend to other things? Maybe try out of few of these and see what you think. ——- Leg Supported Cradle For this hold, use your forearm to support baby’s head, and support his body weight with your thighs. Your opposite hand is free to support your breast or do other things. As baby gets bigger I find that it’s most comfortable for both of us to let his rear sit between my legs, so one thigh supports his back and the other his legs. This is one of my favorites, I usually have the laptop next to me and can work one handed. Or cuddle a toddler. Reclining This is the lying down position but on an incline. I really dislike lying flat or lying on the couch to nurse because it’s hard to see the other kids running around from that position. So I make myself a nest of pillows and then lie on my side at about a 45 degree angle, baby lies next to me on his side supported along the same 45 degree incline. Cross-legged For this one, sit criss-cross applesauce, or Indian style (depending on what part of the country you’re from) with baby’s head on your knee or lower thigh. If you need to you can add a pillow under that knee to raise baby’s head. I just sit up straight and I’m good to go. This leaves both of my hands free to fold laundry, read a book, write a blog… Opposite breast while lying down Simply move your body a bit away from baby and rotate towards the baby until your opposite breast is level with baby’s mouth. I usually end up almost on my stomach, which is nice because I’m a stomach sleeper anyway. This is great when there’s a toddler up against your back and switching sides will wake the whole family! Car Seat Nursing This serves great on road-trips, I got it pretty well perfected when Aedyn was about 8 weeks old when I learned that if the diaper doesn't need to be changed it's worse on everyone to take them out of the carseat just to put him back in. Baby is strapped into a rear-facing seat, just lean forward and let him latch. ***Please note that this is not a safe position while the car is in motion, crash tests have not been performed with 100+ pounds of adult leaning over the child, not to mention the safety concerns for mom! ——– You will eventually create positions that work for you and your baby, but sometimes it’s just nice to have somewhere to start. You’ll also find that as your baby grows, favorite positions will become awkward and things that didn’t work before are wonderful when they can hold their own weight or sit up alone. Nursing is a journey and unfortunately you can’t hit cruise control for very long; so just do what you need to do and don’t try to make your unique baby fit into a text book mold! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Do you have any holds that you invented? Or any tips to share? Many of the holds I mentioned aren’t limited to large breasted moms, have any not-so-large moms tried them? What did you think? When that second pink line appears a million things run through your head and the countdown begins to holding your little one outside your body for the first time. For first time moms, 9 month is often spent preparing for baby and for birth, registries, birth classes, interviewing doulas, midwives/OBs, and pediatricians. For second time moms, it may be much the same, but the naps are fewer, the exertion is more, and the worry about managing and loving 2 kids is often forefront in their minds. By the time those lines showed up for my 6th pregnancy(the 4th that made it through the first trimester). I was more concerned about postpartum. My worries were not about having enough love or patience or breastmilk, but how on earth was I going to cope with yet more laundry, dirty dishes, and mouths that were always begging for a snack no matter what or when they'd last eaten. At 6, 4, and 2, was there really much I could expect? The short answer, YES. But it didn't and wouldn't happen overnight. It will take nine months of laying a foundation and preparing my family for those first weeks postpartum. Preparing them so that I can take care of myself and the new one and hopefully our lives will maintain motion amid the chaos. Preparation #1 - LAUNDRY Hard enough in the best of times, a newborn and kids who need clothes for school --- ummm...sure. But guess what has been invented? Laundry pods! Not ideal for my crunchy leanings, but sometimes in life you have to take the convenient route for a little while. So simple, my 4 year old picked it up like nothing else, drag laundry to the washer, drop in a pod, press warm, press start. Move laundry to dryer. Press start. He and his older brother won't have the stamina to do the entire family's laundry, but if it's Sunday and no clean jeans for Monday? Guess who can help out? Preparation #2 - DIRTY DISHES Once again, not the most environmentally friendly, but disposable. Those first few weeks at home, disposable is my friend. To save on costs I keep an eye on sales and try and spread out the purchasing. Some stores even have compostable or environmentally friendly disposable tableware so that's something to look out for too. Guess what, they can get, use and clean up with out having to soak my kitchen washing dishes! Preparation #3 - FOOD This one is a little more tricky, but frozen meals can be put in a cold oven to minimize burns and cook times adjusted. Practice now. Snacks can be purchased individually packaged and a spigot-ed water dispenser placed in the fridge. If friends or family offer to bring you anything, accept! If they ask what you need, cut fresh fruit and veggies are always welcome here! We have also been learning how to use the microwave, so tossing in a bag of Steamables veggies to go with that frozen meal is a great option. Preparation #4 - ENTERTAINMENT I have to begin preparing pretty far out for this one. New crayons and coloring books go a long way, Playdough, sure. But mainly being ok with increased TV times. It's not forever, and yes, I'd love to be a screen free family, but in reality, I'm going to need a nap and if putting on Paw Patrol or Octonauts for an hour keeps me even slightly more rested then we'll all live through it. With the exception of entertainment, learning how to do some of these things takes time and an understanding mindset. They will make mistakes, messes will be made, but as they get used to new responsibilities and extra tasks they will excel and while it won't be perfect and will still be chaos, the first few weeks after the new one arrives might be just a little bit easier. ~Heather How do you cope with younger older kids during your first weeks postpartum? Did your reality look anything at all like your plans? Feel free to share stories, ideas, and advice below. Thanks for stopping by!
After a long hiatus from blogging at 2 Sleeping Babies, some reevaluation, and life changes, I'm back to writing. This section of my website is a work in progress, an evolving creation that will be a little bit about current birth issues, a little about what I do and why I do it, and an occasional glimpse into my life raising 3 little gentlemen. With the creation of this outlet for my thoughts, I'm also officially announcing that I am now offering doula services to women with guess dates on or after June 1st, 2015! I have been providing services to friends and family, both locally and long distance for awhile, but have decided to take a leap and follow my heart and my passion. I can't wait to share this journey with you as it unfolds! Blessings! |
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